A few weeks ago, I got the email announcing that I would be part of the PTCC team going to Uganda in the summer of 2013. I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds when I saw that email. It had suddenly become real rather than hypothetical, and I was terrified. What had I done? Should I really be going to Uganda? Did God really want me to do this?
After maybe a day or two of panic creeping in whenever I thought of it, I realized that either God had called me to do this, and I could rest in that, or He hadn't but He would still work everything for good somehow because I loved Him. This conclusion calmed my nerves enough to attend the first team meeting--though not enough to keep my face from turning beet red whenever it was my turn to speak!
The day after the first meeting, I left town for a family vacation. Although I spent portions of my vacation time reading a team-recommended book, I by and large set all Uganda anxieties to the side until I got home.
Once home, my original win-win conclusion seemed less comforting. What if God hadn't directed me to do this? He doesn't call each of us to do everything that might benefit the kingdom. I wanted to minister God's love and wisdom to the children at Kampiringisa and HomeComing and to those who would attend the pastor's conference at Hesed International, but I knew I couldn't do that on my own. I would need God to work though me. Did He want to work through me in Uganda during the summer trip? I needed confirmation that this was His will. I prayed for confirmation from Him and with full expectancy to hear something from Him, I opened my Bible to Ephesians 4-6 as that was the next passage on my Bible reading plan.
Tears were springing up in my eyes as I read Ephesians 4:11-16. This was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to use the gifts that God had given me to build up the body of Christ. That's one of the reasons I chose this trip. It seemed to match up with my giftedness surprisingly well. This desire clearly matched God's heart and will. "From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:16)
I'm going to need many more confirmations and encouragements as I continue on this journey and step way out of my comfort zone. I'm going to need many others to join with me and support me with words, prayers, and needed funds. I'm going to need to lean hard into God rather than my own understanding. I'm going to need God to show up big-time along this journey, but for today, I'm going to trust Him, acknowledge Him in what I do, and leave Him the job of clearing the obstacles and producing eternal growth. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Lord, help me!
After maybe a day or two of panic creeping in whenever I thought of it, I realized that either God had called me to do this, and I could rest in that, or He hadn't but He would still work everything for good somehow because I loved Him. This conclusion calmed my nerves enough to attend the first team meeting--though not enough to keep my face from turning beet red whenever it was my turn to speak!
The day after the first meeting, I left town for a family vacation. Although I spent portions of my vacation time reading a team-recommended book, I by and large set all Uganda anxieties to the side until I got home.
Once home, my original win-win conclusion seemed less comforting. What if God hadn't directed me to do this? He doesn't call each of us to do everything that might benefit the kingdom. I wanted to minister God's love and wisdom to the children at Kampiringisa and HomeComing and to those who would attend the pastor's conference at Hesed International, but I knew I couldn't do that on my own. I would need God to work though me. Did He want to work through me in Uganda during the summer trip? I needed confirmation that this was His will. I prayed for confirmation from Him and with full expectancy to hear something from Him, I opened my Bible to Ephesians 4-6 as that was the next passage on my Bible reading plan.
Tears were springing up in my eyes as I read Ephesians 4:11-16. This was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to use the gifts that God had given me to build up the body of Christ. That's one of the reasons I chose this trip. It seemed to match up with my giftedness surprisingly well. This desire clearly matched God's heart and will. "From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:16)
I'm going to need many more confirmations and encouragements as I continue on this journey and step way out of my comfort zone. I'm going to need many others to join with me and support me with words, prayers, and needed funds. I'm going to need to lean hard into God rather than my own understanding. I'm going to need God to show up big-time along this journey, but for today, I'm going to trust Him, acknowledge Him in what I do, and leave Him the job of clearing the obstacles and producing eternal growth. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Lord, help me!
Comments