It's been a while since I've blogged. In that time, I have struggled with a couple autoimmune diseases, moved twice, grieved with my husband over the loss of his father, and wanted to bail on my faith. It wasn't my physical pain, the stress over big life changes, or the loss of a family member that rocked my faith though. It was the words of my fellow believers.
The last election cycle brought surprises for many. What surprised me were the words of my fellow believers. I saw people I had gone to church with whitewashing sin to justify their political choices. I saw people held up as leaders of the faith suddenly supporting stances that seemed to say "The end justifies the means." I saw people who posted memes about God's love also posting comments that ridiculed those who were afraid. Frankly, I wanted nothing to do with any of that.
My heart was shattered. My mind was racing. How could I call these people my brothers and sisters in Christ? I didn't want to be part of that kind of family. I wanted out.
I started pondering what it might look like to walk away from it all. It would change so much about our day-to-day lives, our weekly schedule, and our family values/priorities to walk away from it all, but that was okay with me. Only one thing stopped me. The Holy Spirit.
As I pondered walking away from it all, only one thing held me back. I knew in my heart of hearts that the testimony of Jesus was true. Romans 8:16 says, "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God." My inner spirit stood firm as the Holy Spirit stood witness to the truth of the gospel. I could not deny this inner Witness.
I'm still struggling a bit with how to engage again as a member of the Body of Christ. I don't have any firm answers yet, but I appreciate these words from 2 Timothy 2:
The last election cycle brought surprises for many. What surprised me were the words of my fellow believers. I saw people I had gone to church with whitewashing sin to justify their political choices. I saw people held up as leaders of the faith suddenly supporting stances that seemed to say "The end justifies the means." I saw people who posted memes about God's love also posting comments that ridiculed those who were afraid. Frankly, I wanted nothing to do with any of that.
My heart was shattered. My mind was racing. How could I call these people my brothers and sisters in Christ? I didn't want to be part of that kind of family. I wanted out.
I started pondering what it might look like to walk away from it all. It would change so much about our day-to-day lives, our weekly schedule, and our family values/priorities to walk away from it all, but that was okay with me. Only one thing stopped me. The Holy Spirit.
As I pondered walking away from it all, only one thing held me back. I knew in my heart of hearts that the testimony of Jesus was true. Romans 8:16 says, "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God." My inner spirit stood firm as the Holy Spirit stood witness to the truth of the gospel. I could not deny this inner Witness.
I'm still struggling a bit with how to engage again as a member of the Body of Christ. I don't have any firm answers yet, but I appreciate these words from 2 Timothy 2:
Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene...They are upsetting the faith of some. But God's firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: 'The Lord knows those who are his,' and, 'Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.'I rejoice today that the Lord knows me. I am His! Nothing can snatch me from His hand. I will strive to present myself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed and who rightly handles the word of truth. May I not engage in irreverent babble that can spread like gangrene and upset the faith of others. I know from experience now what that feels like. Praise God for His firm foundation though! His voice calls to those who are His and would otherwise fall away. And praise God that He makes it possible for all of us to walk away from wrongdoing and wrong-speaking.
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