I had a whole hour to myself today, and I was shocked in that time to discover that I have had a fairly driving principle throughout my life. Before I get to that though, let me back up. In elementary school, I had a recurring nightmare. It somehow epitomized my worst fear at the time even though it was clear to me even then that others would invalidate how traumatic it was for me if I told them. The dream took place in the hallway of the Christian school that I attended, a place where I spent many hours in reality as my parents were both teachers and principals in the school. In this dream, my mom would be standing in the hallway with a group of other teachers having a conversation. Meanwhile, I would be running in terror for the hallway had filled with every evil character I knew from any story or movie. At both ends of this hallway were doors that exited to the outside, thus it was possible to run in a loop through this hallway, outside, and back through the hallway again. That is exactly what I and every story-character did in this dream. No one ever caught me. It was never clear what the real danger was exactly since even some good characters were running through the loop too, but none of that was the real crisis in my dream. The real crisis in my dream came when I finally came to the group of adults and tried to tell them about what was going on but instead of them listening to me, they chastised me for interrupting and dismissed me without a second consideration. The real crisis in my dream came when I had something important to say, but nobody would listen to me. The feelings that came from being ignored and dismissed made my dream a nightmare.
It may not surprise you then to find out what I realized tonight has been a driving value and force throughout my life. It's simply this: Everyone has a voice and deserves to be heard. In high school, this probably came out when I spent my junior and senior year really trying to work on my writing skills. You see, I was still a principal's, teacher's, and even a pastor's kid, and people rarely heard my voice past their own expectations of who they thought I was. I could write to an imaginary audience though. I think part of me was trying to make sure that if anyone ever took the time to listen, then I'd be able to express myself clearly. Maybe I could even compel someone to listen if I just wrote well enough.
In college, I honed in on two studies: psychology and language development. I needed to understand why others did and thought and felt as they did, and I needed to understand why sometimes people just couldn't seem to understand what was being said. I ended up with a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters in Communication Disorders by pursuing these questions.
I found a love in my job as a speech-language pathologist. I met others who were not being heard, and I could help them make their voices heard. Giving up that job was one of the hardest decisions of my life because there is little else that I find as rewarding as helping someone find their voice. Gratefully, my heavenly Father knew my heart in this better than I did at the time because He provided opportunities for me to keep doing that even in other roles.
As I consider the highlights of my last year, most of them involved helping someone's voice be heard, sometimes for the first time. In Uganda, I met a little boy who had been so neglected his whole life that he didn't even know that he had a voice to be heard, but I got to be a small part of helping him use his literal voice to make a request and have it be fulfilled for possibly the first time in his memory. In the same country, I met a girl who had been dismissed by her society. As I walked with her, I realized that many who spent time around her regularly had dismissed her for being "slow." I got to listen to her though...even if it was for only a brief time, and even if I didn't do it as expertly as I would have liked looking back, I listened when she reached for my hand instead of playing sports with the other children. I listened when she managed to say "book" to request that I speak to her from the storybook Bible that I held. Her voice always matters, but I got to be part of a tiny moment in her life when it was actually heard and sought and respected.
Last year, I met a man who cared more about others than he did about himself but who had fallen on hard times. He didn't have a support net for him when that happened, and he was falling into despair. I got to be a voice into his life telling him that he was loved, that he was capable, that he mattered, that there was hope, and I had the great privilege of hearing him, over time, find that his voice was capable of laughter again.
My most recent moment came this last Sunday. I was spending time at church with one of my favorite boys in the universe. This sweet boy was pleading, in his own way, to be able to explore what music was like in the large sanctuary. I wanted to respect his request, but I also knew that time in the crowded sanctuary with loud music playing could be very difficult for him. So, I talked to his mom, and we came up with a plan. We would take him in during worship during the last and least crowded service of the day. As I began to explain the plan to him as clearly as I could, the frantic energy that I had seen in him that morning began to ebb away. Within a few minutes, he was giving me a hug. His voice had been heard. His voice had mattered. After preparing him and myself as best I could, we all went in to the sanctuary. It was a smashing success as far as I'm concerned. He watched wide-eyed. He danced. He smiled. He found his own ways to participate in the time of worship. When he hugged me good-bye to go home after 2 songs, my heart was singing too. Where could it possibly be more appropriate to be heard and to be sent the message that you matter than in the house of God? You see, I truly believe that this is not just a passion of mine, I believe it is a passion of God's. The childhood fear of being dismissed and discounted has turned into a passion to make sure that every human knows that they matter and that they count.
One of my greatest surprises and joys over this last year has been discovering some friends who value my own voice and who understand my passion for not discounting anyone. For as much as strive to hear others, I still struggle to find value in my own voice at times. I still wonder if anyone will find me worth listening to. I wonder if I will be dismissed and discounted again. Sometimes I even struggle still to make a simple request of someone else because I don't want them to feel awkward if they choose to dismiss it. I will value your "no" before you even give it, but sometimes I don't value myself enough to even give you the opportunity to say "yes."
I know the hurt of being dismissed and discounted. I know the havoc that can wreak on your self-concept as I occasionally glare into holes in my own self-concept that I thought had been patched by now. I want you to know that while I am not perfect at acting in this truth in my own life all the time, I know it to be true: You matter. Your voice counts. You have value infinitely beyond your comprehension. I know this because I have spent time seeking God's voice, and it's so full of love, grace, compassion, worth, and wisdom. It's indescribably beautiful. If you've ever felt small and insignificant and of little value, know that God sees something else. He sees someone worth listening to.
When Jesus' disciples wanted to dismiss the little children as not being worth Jesus' time. He corrected them. "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" (Matthew 19:14) Whether you're a naive child or a wandering sinner, you matter. “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." (Matthew 18:12-14) Not only are you as an individual worth His fullest effort and worth God celebrating over, but you are even worth God delaying Judgment Day itself! While talking about the end times, Peter wrote, "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9) God is holding back Judgment Day because He doesn't want to lose a single individual. He doesn't want to lose you! You matter!!
God has shown me value in my voice. He has given my voice value. I pray that He gives me the ability to use my voice now to glorify Him, to share His voice with others, and to live a life that helps others understand the value in the voice that God gave them. If you have been dismissed, rejected, discounted, or invalidated by others, know that God accepts you as you are. If you haven't found your voice yet or maybe someone else has hushed you, know that Jesus died so that you could sing in freedom. Giving lordship of your life over to Him doesn't require you to lose your voice. It's quite the opposite. He enables you to use your voice to the fullest. If you want a glimpse into what it might be like to hear God use His voice to sing for you, I encourage you to listen to this song that I used to listen to over and over again during my college years:
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth, so that the promises made to the patriarchs might be confirmed and, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written:
“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles;
I will sing the praises of your name.”
Again, it says,
“Rejoice, you Gentiles, with his people.”
And again,
“Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
let all the peoples extol him.”
And again, Isaiah says,
“The Root of Jesse will spring up,
one who will arise to rule over the nations;
in him the Gentiles will hope.”
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:5-13, bold added by me)
It may not surprise you then to find out what I realized tonight has been a driving value and force throughout my life. It's simply this: Everyone has a voice and deserves to be heard. In high school, this probably came out when I spent my junior and senior year really trying to work on my writing skills. You see, I was still a principal's, teacher's, and even a pastor's kid, and people rarely heard my voice past their own expectations of who they thought I was. I could write to an imaginary audience though. I think part of me was trying to make sure that if anyone ever took the time to listen, then I'd be able to express myself clearly. Maybe I could even compel someone to listen if I just wrote well enough.
In college, I honed in on two studies: psychology and language development. I needed to understand why others did and thought and felt as they did, and I needed to understand why sometimes people just couldn't seem to understand what was being said. I ended up with a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters in Communication Disorders by pursuing these questions.
I found a love in my job as a speech-language pathologist. I met others who were not being heard, and I could help them make their voices heard. Giving up that job was one of the hardest decisions of my life because there is little else that I find as rewarding as helping someone find their voice. Gratefully, my heavenly Father knew my heart in this better than I did at the time because He provided opportunities for me to keep doing that even in other roles.
As I consider the highlights of my last year, most of them involved helping someone's voice be heard, sometimes for the first time. In Uganda, I met a little boy who had been so neglected his whole life that he didn't even know that he had a voice to be heard, but I got to be a small part of helping him use his literal voice to make a request and have it be fulfilled for possibly the first time in his memory. In the same country, I met a girl who had been dismissed by her society. As I walked with her, I realized that many who spent time around her regularly had dismissed her for being "slow." I got to listen to her though...even if it was for only a brief time, and even if I didn't do it as expertly as I would have liked looking back, I listened when she reached for my hand instead of playing sports with the other children. I listened when she managed to say "book" to request that I speak to her from the storybook Bible that I held. Her voice always matters, but I got to be part of a tiny moment in her life when it was actually heard and sought and respected.
Last year, I met a man who cared more about others than he did about himself but who had fallen on hard times. He didn't have a support net for him when that happened, and he was falling into despair. I got to be a voice into his life telling him that he was loved, that he was capable, that he mattered, that there was hope, and I had the great privilege of hearing him, over time, find that his voice was capable of laughter again.
My most recent moment came this last Sunday. I was spending time at church with one of my favorite boys in the universe. This sweet boy was pleading, in his own way, to be able to explore what music was like in the large sanctuary. I wanted to respect his request, but I also knew that time in the crowded sanctuary with loud music playing could be very difficult for him. So, I talked to his mom, and we came up with a plan. We would take him in during worship during the last and least crowded service of the day. As I began to explain the plan to him as clearly as I could, the frantic energy that I had seen in him that morning began to ebb away. Within a few minutes, he was giving me a hug. His voice had been heard. His voice had mattered. After preparing him and myself as best I could, we all went in to the sanctuary. It was a smashing success as far as I'm concerned. He watched wide-eyed. He danced. He smiled. He found his own ways to participate in the time of worship. When he hugged me good-bye to go home after 2 songs, my heart was singing too. Where could it possibly be more appropriate to be heard and to be sent the message that you matter than in the house of God? You see, I truly believe that this is not just a passion of mine, I believe it is a passion of God's. The childhood fear of being dismissed and discounted has turned into a passion to make sure that every human knows that they matter and that they count.
One of my greatest surprises and joys over this last year has been discovering some friends who value my own voice and who understand my passion for not discounting anyone. For as much as strive to hear others, I still struggle to find value in my own voice at times. I still wonder if anyone will find me worth listening to. I wonder if I will be dismissed and discounted again. Sometimes I even struggle still to make a simple request of someone else because I don't want them to feel awkward if they choose to dismiss it. I will value your "no" before you even give it, but sometimes I don't value myself enough to even give you the opportunity to say "yes."
I know the hurt of being dismissed and discounted. I know the havoc that can wreak on your self-concept as I occasionally glare into holes in my own self-concept that I thought had been patched by now. I want you to know that while I am not perfect at acting in this truth in my own life all the time, I know it to be true: You matter. Your voice counts. You have value infinitely beyond your comprehension. I know this because I have spent time seeking God's voice, and it's so full of love, grace, compassion, worth, and wisdom. It's indescribably beautiful. If you've ever felt small and insignificant and of little value, know that God sees something else. He sees someone worth listening to.
When Jesus' disciples wanted to dismiss the little children as not being worth Jesus' time. He corrected them. "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" (Matthew 19:14) Whether you're a naive child or a wandering sinner, you matter. “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." (Matthew 18:12-14) Not only are you as an individual worth His fullest effort and worth God celebrating over, but you are even worth God delaying Judgment Day itself! While talking about the end times, Peter wrote, "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9) God is holding back Judgment Day because He doesn't want to lose a single individual. He doesn't want to lose you! You matter!!
God has shown me value in my voice. He has given my voice value. I pray that He gives me the ability to use my voice now to glorify Him, to share His voice with others, and to live a life that helps others understand the value in the voice that God gave them. If you have been dismissed, rejected, discounted, or invalidated by others, know that God accepts you as you are. If you haven't found your voice yet or maybe someone else has hushed you, know that Jesus died so that you could sing in freedom. Giving lordship of your life over to Him doesn't require you to lose your voice. It's quite the opposite. He enables you to use your voice to the fullest. If you want a glimpse into what it might be like to hear God use His voice to sing for you, I encourage you to listen to this song that I used to listen to over and over again during my college years:
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth, so that the promises made to the patriarchs might be confirmed and, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written:
“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles;
I will sing the praises of your name.”
Again, it says,
“Rejoice, you Gentiles, with his people.”
And again,
“Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;
let all the peoples extol him.”
And again, Isaiah says,
“The Root of Jesse will spring up,
one who will arise to rule over the nations;
in him the Gentiles will hope.”
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:5-13, bold added by me)
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