My house and head are infested with tiny, disgusting, blood-sucking creatures. I have head lice. I discovered this on Friday after I called my youngest daughter over to do her hair. As I began to comb, I noticed movement in her hair. I leaned in for a closer look and found several scampering buggies. Although I'd never seen lice before in my life, I knew what was on her head. I was beyond creeped out. For the next hour or 2, I suppressed tears, panic, and desires to shave all our heads and burn down the house. I'm not saying I suppressed them very effectively, but the full force of the internal freak out was slightly contained.
I called my sister within a few minutes of my discovery, and she was soon letting herself into my house with an arsenal of weaponry against lice. I didn't even understand what I was looking at yet, and I was still beyond shaken. She immediately set herself to work on the scalp of my youngest, shampooing, sectioning, and combing. In between tasks, she checked my scalp, shampooed my head, and poured me a drink. (Don't judge here, people. A drink was much needed.) Sometime after I rinsed the shampoo off my head, I prayed the first prayer I remember during this situation. "Thank you, God, for the lice."
Now, you may be wondering what kind of magical concoction my sister actually gave to me to drink, but I don't believe that's where my prayer came from. I'm not entirely sure where it came from actually, but I felt the truth and peace of that prayer. My dear sister stayed to help with most of the 8.5 hours of shampooing and combing heads that day. Yesterday, my hubby stepped in to help with 6 more hours of combing children's heads. I'm exhausted and sore and still grateful.
I've had a couple good friends reach out to me and ask how I'm doing, and I've answered pretty honestly with things like "we're in survival mode." True. This is going to be one of those "we're eating whatever is fast and easy" sorts of weeks, but I haven't talked too much about how oddly peaceful I've been during most of this after the initial freak-out. My back gets beyond achey from standing and combing for hours. I've had to call people and tell them awkwardly that they may want to check their kids' heads, and I'm so sorry if they find anything there. I have looked into the pricing for some magical stranger to come comb our heads for us. I don't like the lice one bit, and I pray that the infestation will end soon, BUT I also keep finding this odd peace and thankfulness in me.
I remembered this weekend that I've been praying for humility lately. Growing up in the church, I've heard countless times things like "Don't pray for patience!" implying that God's method for giving patience is beyond unpleasant, and honestly, I considered this sort of warning when I started praying for humility. Who really likes to be humbled!? But, I saw some ugliness that pointed toward selfish ambition and vain conceit in me. I didn't want to hold on to that ugliness. I knew a verse about selfish ambition and vain conceit, so I brought it to mind hoping it would give me a solution. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves," (Philippians 2:3) and out of this, my prayer for humility was born.
Now, I'm not saying that God sent me lice in order to teach me humility, but I do see how He's been using it in my life toward that end. Standing for hours to comb a child's long hair that she wants to keep long requires me to value her above myself. Telling others, let alone the whole world via blogging, that I have an infestation that is often associated with poverty and a lack of hygiene is humbling. Realizing how impossible it would be to get rid of such an infestation if I were the mother of several children who had to work long hours outside the home with no one to help me fills me with compassion. Having a sister who would drop everything to help me comb for hours on end without complaint makes me realize that I can barely fathom such selflessness...humbling. Having friends who would check in on me and offer their help when they have even more difficult things going on in their own lives...humbling. Knowing that I have a God who is big and loving enough to use something as tiny and inconsequential as lice to effect a change in my heart for my own good and for His glory...humbling.
The Hiding Place is one of those books that has impacted my life so dramatically that I don't think I would be the same person if I hadn't read it. I first read it in seventh grade, and I still remember my surprise then at a part in the story when Corrie's sister Betsie, while weak and in a concentration camp, thanked God for their sleeping quarters being infested with fleas. Corrie did not see a reason to thank God for the fleas, and neither did I, but in the end, they discovered that it was because of the fleas in their sleeping quarters that the soldiers wouldn't come in their room to bother them or discover their secret Bible studies. I remember thinking that I wanted to be the kind of person who would thank God for the fleas...before I even knew what good they could possibly serve. I wasn't sure how to do that other than to start thanking Him for things I didn't really see the value in. I think I started with "Thank you, God, for these cramps." I still see no good coming out of cramping, particularly, but I am amazed that God has worked in me to enable me years later to be able to earnestly and easily thank Him for lice. I am amazed how He can use the smallest creatures to effect big heart changes when we let Him.
I called my sister within a few minutes of my discovery, and she was soon letting herself into my house with an arsenal of weaponry against lice. I didn't even understand what I was looking at yet, and I was still beyond shaken. She immediately set herself to work on the scalp of my youngest, shampooing, sectioning, and combing. In between tasks, she checked my scalp, shampooed my head, and poured me a drink. (Don't judge here, people. A drink was much needed.) Sometime after I rinsed the shampoo off my head, I prayed the first prayer I remember during this situation. "Thank you, God, for the lice."
Now, you may be wondering what kind of magical concoction my sister actually gave to me to drink, but I don't believe that's where my prayer came from. I'm not entirely sure where it came from actually, but I felt the truth and peace of that prayer. My dear sister stayed to help with most of the 8.5 hours of shampooing and combing heads that day. Yesterday, my hubby stepped in to help with 6 more hours of combing children's heads. I'm exhausted and sore and still grateful.
I've had a couple good friends reach out to me and ask how I'm doing, and I've answered pretty honestly with things like "we're in survival mode." True. This is going to be one of those "we're eating whatever is fast and easy" sorts of weeks, but I haven't talked too much about how oddly peaceful I've been during most of this after the initial freak-out. My back gets beyond achey from standing and combing for hours. I've had to call people and tell them awkwardly that they may want to check their kids' heads, and I'm so sorry if they find anything there. I have looked into the pricing for some magical stranger to come comb our heads for us. I don't like the lice one bit, and I pray that the infestation will end soon, BUT I also keep finding this odd peace and thankfulness in me.
I remembered this weekend that I've been praying for humility lately. Growing up in the church, I've heard countless times things like "Don't pray for patience!" implying that God's method for giving patience is beyond unpleasant, and honestly, I considered this sort of warning when I started praying for humility. Who really likes to be humbled!? But, I saw some ugliness that pointed toward selfish ambition and vain conceit in me. I didn't want to hold on to that ugliness. I knew a verse about selfish ambition and vain conceit, so I brought it to mind hoping it would give me a solution. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves," (Philippians 2:3) and out of this, my prayer for humility was born.
Now, I'm not saying that God sent me lice in order to teach me humility, but I do see how He's been using it in my life toward that end. Standing for hours to comb a child's long hair that she wants to keep long requires me to value her above myself. Telling others, let alone the whole world via blogging, that I have an infestation that is often associated with poverty and a lack of hygiene is humbling. Realizing how impossible it would be to get rid of such an infestation if I were the mother of several children who had to work long hours outside the home with no one to help me fills me with compassion. Having a sister who would drop everything to help me comb for hours on end without complaint makes me realize that I can barely fathom such selflessness...humbling. Having friends who would check in on me and offer their help when they have even more difficult things going on in their own lives...humbling. Knowing that I have a God who is big and loving enough to use something as tiny and inconsequential as lice to effect a change in my heart for my own good and for His glory...humbling.
The Hiding Place is one of those books that has impacted my life so dramatically that I don't think I would be the same person if I hadn't read it. I first read it in seventh grade, and I still remember my surprise then at a part in the story when Corrie's sister Betsie, while weak and in a concentration camp, thanked God for their sleeping quarters being infested with fleas. Corrie did not see a reason to thank God for the fleas, and neither did I, but in the end, they discovered that it was because of the fleas in their sleeping quarters that the soldiers wouldn't come in their room to bother them or discover their secret Bible studies. I remember thinking that I wanted to be the kind of person who would thank God for the fleas...before I even knew what good they could possibly serve. I wasn't sure how to do that other than to start thanking Him for things I didn't really see the value in. I think I started with "Thank you, God, for these cramps." I still see no good coming out of cramping, particularly, but I am amazed that God has worked in me to enable me years later to be able to earnestly and easily thank Him for lice. I am amazed how He can use the smallest creatures to effect big heart changes when we let Him.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son... (Romans 8:28-29)With awe that He is still lovingly working on conforming me to the image of His Son, I will continue to thank Him in whatever circumstances I find myself. I will thank Him for using the ugly circumstances of my life to effect a change of beauty within me. With confidence that my Father will answer my prayers in love, I will continue to ask Him to work on the ugly parts of my heart even if I suspect that change may only come about through hardship. I would far rather have an ugly infestation on my scalp than in my heart.
...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life... (Philippians 2:12-16)
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