A few months ago, I joined an Open Table. Open Table is a somewhat difficult program to explain in brief, so here's a snippet from their website: "A movement of servants restoring people in poverty to our communities through relationship and the investment of our own vocational and life experiences and personal networks." When I was first asked if I was interested in joining, I wasn't sure what exactly I had to offer, but I was interested. When I'd thought in the past about what a Godly response to poverty would be, this was the sort of approach that seemed right to me, so I was willing to step out and sign up.
As I learned more about the lives we'd be stepping alongside of, I wondered what I had to offer on this team. I considered my vocational experiences, and there were no young children or speech/language disabilities involved. I considered my life experiences, and they seemed pretty far removed from the experiences of this family. I considered my personal networks and various resources, and they seemed pretty paltry in terms of what I could really offer of value. I even considered my spiritual gifts, and they didn't appear to be particularly relevant to this setting. All my "strengths" seemed to amount to pretty much nothing helpful. Despite all of this, I am so grateful to be on this Table. I do feel that I have a place and something to offer. I offer my brokenness.
God is using my brokenness and my weaknesses, not my "strengths." When a struggle is brought up, I can say, "Not only do I relate to that struggle, but I have walked and am still walking along that same path of struggle with you. How about we walk it together? Here's a promise of God that I have to cling to some days when this rears its ugly head. Maybe it will help and encourage you too." I don't have all the answers. I don't "help" out of a place of complete wholeness and health myself. I'm broken. We're all broken, and I'm learning that there is a real beauty in walking through life acknowledging my brokenness and not trying to polish it up, cover it up, or desperately strive to grow out of it every second.
In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul is describing how he had begged God on multiple occasions to remove "a thorn in his flesh." Now, we don't know exactly what this "thorn" was, and I'm rather glad that we don't actually. Whatever it was, it was something that was a struggle and/or a weakness for him. I believe God's answer to Paul is more beautiful than any "fix" would be. Paul reported in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." As striking as God's answer to Paul was, actual boasting about weakness seemed like a bit of an extreme response to me on Paul's part. I get it more now. I have co-dependent tendencies. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! I have perfectionist tendencies. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! I am an introvert with social anxieties at times. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! I am domestically-challenged. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! As I think about it, God has used each and every one of these weaknesses in me to help me build meaningful relationships with others and with Him.
Brokenness binds me to others. It helps me walk alongside others and build meaningful relationships. Brokenness points me to my heavenly Father. Someone has got to calm this mess down, and He's the only one big enough for the job! Beauty comes when I see that these relationships are not diminished by my weaknesses. I am not loved one tiny bit less in my brokenness. In fact, I see power and strength and life and grace and love come shining through these cracks in my life, "for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Where are you broken? God loves you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! He couldn't love you anymore or any less than He already does this very second. Are your ready to turn that brokenness over to Him? He doesn't always "fix" it all this side of heaven, but I can promise you that He gives beauty in place of those ashes. Let's stop hiding the ashes. I want to keep turning them over to Him because this beauty side of it rocks!
As I learned more about the lives we'd be stepping alongside of, I wondered what I had to offer on this team. I considered my vocational experiences, and there were no young children or speech/language disabilities involved. I considered my life experiences, and they seemed pretty far removed from the experiences of this family. I considered my personal networks and various resources, and they seemed pretty paltry in terms of what I could really offer of value. I even considered my spiritual gifts, and they didn't appear to be particularly relevant to this setting. All my "strengths" seemed to amount to pretty much nothing helpful. Despite all of this, I am so grateful to be on this Table. I do feel that I have a place and something to offer. I offer my brokenness.
God is using my brokenness and my weaknesses, not my "strengths." When a struggle is brought up, I can say, "Not only do I relate to that struggle, but I have walked and am still walking along that same path of struggle with you. How about we walk it together? Here's a promise of God that I have to cling to some days when this rears its ugly head. Maybe it will help and encourage you too." I don't have all the answers. I don't "help" out of a place of complete wholeness and health myself. I'm broken. We're all broken, and I'm learning that there is a real beauty in walking through life acknowledging my brokenness and not trying to polish it up, cover it up, or desperately strive to grow out of it every second.
In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul is describing how he had begged God on multiple occasions to remove "a thorn in his flesh." Now, we don't know exactly what this "thorn" was, and I'm rather glad that we don't actually. Whatever it was, it was something that was a struggle and/or a weakness for him. I believe God's answer to Paul is more beautiful than any "fix" would be. Paul reported in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." As striking as God's answer to Paul was, actual boasting about weakness seemed like a bit of an extreme response to me on Paul's part. I get it more now. I have co-dependent tendencies. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! I have perfectionist tendencies. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! I am an introvert with social anxieties at times. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! I am domestically-challenged. Hallelujah, His grace is sufficient for me! As I think about it, God has used each and every one of these weaknesses in me to help me build meaningful relationships with others and with Him.
Brokenness binds me to others. It helps me walk alongside others and build meaningful relationships. Brokenness points me to my heavenly Father. Someone has got to calm this mess down, and He's the only one big enough for the job! Beauty comes when I see that these relationships are not diminished by my weaknesses. I am not loved one tiny bit less in my brokenness. In fact, I see power and strength and life and grace and love come shining through these cracks in my life, "for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Where are you broken? God loves you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! He couldn't love you anymore or any less than He already does this very second. Are your ready to turn that brokenness over to Him? He doesn't always "fix" it all this side of heaven, but I can promise you that He gives beauty in place of those ashes. Let's stop hiding the ashes. I want to keep turning them over to Him because this beauty side of it rocks!
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