When I've heard the Parable of the Prodigal Son over the years, I've heard it told roughly like this:
"A younger son of a rich man wanted all his inheritance up front. The father granted his son's wish, and this younger son then went out and squandered his money in parties and women and as much fun as he could figure out how to have. Eventually, his money ran out, and he ended up working in a pig pen and longing for a bite of the pigs' feed. Once he came to his senses, he realized that his father's servants were treated better than he was being treated, so he went back to his father to beg for a position as a servant. The loving father saw him coming from a distance and ran out to greet him. He didn't give him a servant's job. Instead, he welcomed him back as a son and threw a lavish feast in his honor. The older son, who had stayed working for his father all this time, saw this party and became bitter and jealous. What a d-bag!"
Ok, so they didn't add that last part in exactly as I wrote it, but that's essentially what I heard. Well, guess what? I'm way more like the older son, and this story would ring in my ears as condemnation whenever I started to feel bitter. "Amber, not only have you been trying your best to be "good," while person X has made a kazillion poor choices, but now person X is getting loads of attention, and you are basically the scum of the earth to be feeling even a hint of bitterness or jealousy about the whole thing. Congratulations."
Here's the deal though, the older son is not actually bashed by Jesus in the parable. In fact, He says the father LEAVES THE BANQUET to go out in search of his older son. The father loved that older son just as every bit much as he loved that younger son, and in fact the older son was no better and no worse than the younger son in his perspective and actions. Both sons lost sight of what was important-- their relationship with their ridiculously loving and generous father. The younger son thought he could do better on his own, in "loose living" so to speak. The older son too thought he could do better on his own I think though. He thought it was all about "slaving away" for the father and never disobeying "orders." Neither son realized the wealth and love and abundance that they had just by being sons of this father.
I think the church is full of both older sons and younger sons. The younger sons seems to often think that they won't be accepted by all the older sons that they imagine inhabit the entire church. What they don't realize is that the church is also inhabited by a whole bunch of younger sons that have been welcomed home and redeemed already, and the church is ready to party down with a new younger son that has come home. As for many of us older sons, I think some of us are petrified of admitting that we have older son tendencies. That sounds awful. What if all the wonderfully redeemed younger sons just stare at us blankly and think "What a judgmental, boring d-bag!" What if we haven't figured out yet how to party down with them partly because we're still trying to process how deeply loved and accepted we are regardless of how right or wrong our choices have been recently?
Whenever I meet a younger son who is telling me that he is scared to death to step foot in the church or to admit to me even in a casual setting what his life has truly been like recently because he seems afraid that I will judge him, I want to reassure him that truly, I am no one to judge. I have erred just as much as he has. We have both lost sight of the love and life available through a relationship with our loving Father. He wandered away into "loose living," and I wandered away into "self-righteousness." We both wandered. We're both loved. Neither of us deserve love and acceptance, but we have it anyways.
The parable does not actually end the way I described it at the top of this post. The parable actually ends with the father telling the older son, “My son... you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” He, in fact, tells him that as the son who has remained with him the whole time, everything the father has is his....not will be his, but is his presently...has been his this whole time. Is it possible that the loving father would have been thrilled to have partied with his older son too if only the older son had ever chosen to celebrate with his father?
I want to learn better how to celebrate with my Father. I want both the older sons and the younger sons to drop the perceived sibling rivalry and realize that we are both crazy blessed to have such a loving Father who offers such undeserved abundant life. Here's the deal, younger brothers, I won't judge you. For real, I've messed up just as much as you have, just in the opposite "self-righteous" sort of extreme. Will you come show me how to let loose a little more and have a family party? For all you other older brothers, come on into the party with me. Let's stop standing around on the outside looking in at all the fun. Let's admit that our position as sons is completely based on our relationship with our Father, not on anything we've done or not done, and let's see if we can figure out how to join the party...even if our dancing looks like Elaine from Seinfeld to begin with!
"A younger son of a rich man wanted all his inheritance up front. The father granted his son's wish, and this younger son then went out and squandered his money in parties and women and as much fun as he could figure out how to have. Eventually, his money ran out, and he ended up working in a pig pen and longing for a bite of the pigs' feed. Once he came to his senses, he realized that his father's servants were treated better than he was being treated, so he went back to his father to beg for a position as a servant. The loving father saw him coming from a distance and ran out to greet him. He didn't give him a servant's job. Instead, he welcomed him back as a son and threw a lavish feast in his honor. The older son, who had stayed working for his father all this time, saw this party and became bitter and jealous. What a d-bag!"
Ok, so they didn't add that last part in exactly as I wrote it, but that's essentially what I heard. Well, guess what? I'm way more like the older son, and this story would ring in my ears as condemnation whenever I started to feel bitter. "Amber, not only have you been trying your best to be "good," while person X has made a kazillion poor choices, but now person X is getting loads of attention, and you are basically the scum of the earth to be feeling even a hint of bitterness or jealousy about the whole thing. Congratulations."
Here's the deal though, the older son is not actually bashed by Jesus in the parable. In fact, He says the father LEAVES THE BANQUET to go out in search of his older son. The father loved that older son just as every bit much as he loved that younger son, and in fact the older son was no better and no worse than the younger son in his perspective and actions. Both sons lost sight of what was important-- their relationship with their ridiculously loving and generous father. The younger son thought he could do better on his own, in "loose living" so to speak. The older son too thought he could do better on his own I think though. He thought it was all about "slaving away" for the father and never disobeying "orders." Neither son realized the wealth and love and abundance that they had just by being sons of this father.
I think the church is full of both older sons and younger sons. The younger sons seems to often think that they won't be accepted by all the older sons that they imagine inhabit the entire church. What they don't realize is that the church is also inhabited by a whole bunch of younger sons that have been welcomed home and redeemed already, and the church is ready to party down with a new younger son that has come home. As for many of us older sons, I think some of us are petrified of admitting that we have older son tendencies. That sounds awful. What if all the wonderfully redeemed younger sons just stare at us blankly and think "What a judgmental, boring d-bag!" What if we haven't figured out yet how to party down with them partly because we're still trying to process how deeply loved and accepted we are regardless of how right or wrong our choices have been recently?
Whenever I meet a younger son who is telling me that he is scared to death to step foot in the church or to admit to me even in a casual setting what his life has truly been like recently because he seems afraid that I will judge him, I want to reassure him that truly, I am no one to judge. I have erred just as much as he has. We have both lost sight of the love and life available through a relationship with our loving Father. He wandered away into "loose living," and I wandered away into "self-righteousness." We both wandered. We're both loved. Neither of us deserve love and acceptance, but we have it anyways.
The parable does not actually end the way I described it at the top of this post. The parable actually ends with the father telling the older son, “My son... you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” He, in fact, tells him that as the son who has remained with him the whole time, everything the father has is his....not will be his, but is his presently...has been his this whole time. Is it possible that the loving father would have been thrilled to have partied with his older son too if only the older son had ever chosen to celebrate with his father?
I want to learn better how to celebrate with my Father. I want both the older sons and the younger sons to drop the perceived sibling rivalry and realize that we are both crazy blessed to have such a loving Father who offers such undeserved abundant life. Here's the deal, younger brothers, I won't judge you. For real, I've messed up just as much as you have, just in the opposite "self-righteous" sort of extreme. Will you come show me how to let loose a little more and have a family party? For all you other older brothers, come on into the party with me. Let's stop standing around on the outside looking in at all the fun. Let's admit that our position as sons is completely based on our relationship with our Father, not on anything we've done or not done, and let's see if we can figure out how to join the party...even if our dancing looks like Elaine from Seinfeld to begin with!
Comments