After the sadness of today's events, I was so emotionally weary as I headed upstairs to do the bedtime routine with my girls. I didn't want to go up at all, but I went up. I held one as she cried after a sibling spat. I helped them pick up their toys. I read them a Bible story...and a second one as they begged for more. Then, we started individual prayer times. Melody was first tonight, and as I held her in my arms asking her what the best and worst parts of her day were, she looked up at me and said, "You're like Jesus in a way, Mama." Quite surprised, I asked, "How's that?" "You're wrapping your arms around me," she replied before starting her prayer. Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me that that's exactly what You're doing today. You're wrapping your arms around me, around us.
He's been wrapping His arms around me gently, so gently for weeks now, but I couldn't quite recognize it through my own fears. Philippians 4 has become my go-to chapter lately. When I'm exhausted and don't even know what I need, I go open up Philippians 4, and He's been there to comfort me.
When I felt so feeble for having escalated a ridiculous conflict, He wrapped His arms around me and reminded me that it was over. The beginning of Philippians 4 mentions a couple of women in conflict. This conflict must have really been something big because Paul knew this letter would be read aloud to everyone in the Philippian church. Paul didn't condemn them though. He just told them to work it out and be of the same mind in the Lord. I was reminded that conflicts happen between humans. No condemnation was necessary. I had reconciled and that was all that was asked of me. He wrapped His arms around me.
As I looked ahead to the possibility that my fundraising efforts may not be enough, I read Philippians 4. I had no idea if I was doing everything that I should be doing to fundraise. What would it mean if I didn't get the needed funds? I felt like I just wasn't the type of person that would make people jump up and want to donate towards... I found out that Paul didn't seem to be that "type" of person either. There was a period when he only had ONE church body contributing financially. Paul, the man who authored more books of our Bible than any other man of God, only had one group contributing toward his ministry for a time. God supplied for his needs. Paul's ministry wasn't a failure because of it. He wrapped His arms around me.
Today, within 15 minutes of finding out about the bombings at the Boston marathon, Lily Beth started asking me about my upcoming trip to Uganda. Having just been thinking about how unsure life is and how seemingly safe situations can turn out to be deadly, the segway to Uganda shocked me. What if somehow I didn't return to my girls? What would it be like for them to grow up without me there for them? I've never been more than an hour away from them. I've never left them for more than a couple nights before. Hours later, I opened up Philippians 4 desperate and with tears streaming down my face. The tears flowed even more freely as I got to Philippians 4:6-7 "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." I prayed for God to bring me home safely to my girls and for Him to take care of them no matter what happened. I was still crying when I came to TNRPLAEP. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." It took me a while to be able to even come up with something that I knew was true to focus on. God loves me. God isn't safe, but He's good. God loves my girls. God loves my girls more than I do even. He is more than able to take care of my girls. What was noble? What was right? I could take God's love to Uganda, even if it was a risk. Even as God was wrapping His arms around me, He sent a little emissary to wrap physical arms around me. My sweet Lily Beth came in without a word, climbed into my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, and rocked with me...until she tackled me a few minutes later in a fit of giggles.
Father, this world can be a terrifying place. Things don't always make sense. I don't always know if I can do what You're asking me to do. I seem to make such a mess of things myself sometimes. Thank you for wrapping your arms around me. Thank you for your gentleness and your strength. Thank you for your love. Thank you for sending me reminders to rejoice...even through the tears. Thank you for letting me be your arms to wrap around others sometimes too. I need you, and I love you.
He's been wrapping His arms around me gently, so gently for weeks now, but I couldn't quite recognize it through my own fears. Philippians 4 has become my go-to chapter lately. When I'm exhausted and don't even know what I need, I go open up Philippians 4, and He's been there to comfort me.
When I felt so feeble for having escalated a ridiculous conflict, He wrapped His arms around me and reminded me that it was over. The beginning of Philippians 4 mentions a couple of women in conflict. This conflict must have really been something big because Paul knew this letter would be read aloud to everyone in the Philippian church. Paul didn't condemn them though. He just told them to work it out and be of the same mind in the Lord. I was reminded that conflicts happen between humans. No condemnation was necessary. I had reconciled and that was all that was asked of me. He wrapped His arms around me.
As I looked ahead to the possibility that my fundraising efforts may not be enough, I read Philippians 4. I had no idea if I was doing everything that I should be doing to fundraise. What would it mean if I didn't get the needed funds? I felt like I just wasn't the type of person that would make people jump up and want to donate towards... I found out that Paul didn't seem to be that "type" of person either. There was a period when he only had ONE church body contributing financially. Paul, the man who authored more books of our Bible than any other man of God, only had one group contributing toward his ministry for a time. God supplied for his needs. Paul's ministry wasn't a failure because of it. He wrapped His arms around me.
Today, within 15 minutes of finding out about the bombings at the Boston marathon, Lily Beth started asking me about my upcoming trip to Uganda. Having just been thinking about how unsure life is and how seemingly safe situations can turn out to be deadly, the segway to Uganda shocked me. What if somehow I didn't return to my girls? What would it be like for them to grow up without me there for them? I've never been more than an hour away from them. I've never left them for more than a couple nights before. Hours later, I opened up Philippians 4 desperate and with tears streaming down my face. The tears flowed even more freely as I got to Philippians 4:6-7 "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." I prayed for God to bring me home safely to my girls and for Him to take care of them no matter what happened. I was still crying when I came to TNRPLAEP. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." It took me a while to be able to even come up with something that I knew was true to focus on. God loves me. God isn't safe, but He's good. God loves my girls. God loves my girls more than I do even. He is more than able to take care of my girls. What was noble? What was right? I could take God's love to Uganda, even if it was a risk. Even as God was wrapping His arms around me, He sent a little emissary to wrap physical arms around me. My sweet Lily Beth came in without a word, climbed into my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, and rocked with me...until she tackled me a few minutes later in a fit of giggles.
Father, this world can be a terrifying place. Things don't always make sense. I don't always know if I can do what You're asking me to do. I seem to make such a mess of things myself sometimes. Thank you for wrapping your arms around me. Thank you for your gentleness and your strength. Thank you for your love. Thank you for sending me reminders to rejoice...even through the tears. Thank you for letting me be your arms to wrap around others sometimes too. I need you, and I love you.
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