I'm going to post this day's a little differently. I'm posting my journal entry and my morning prayer out of order. As I was re-reading that morning's prayer to type it out today, I was struck by how much of the prayer God answered. I want you to be able to see that too, so please read my nightly journal entry first and then my morning prayer as ordered here.
June 20, 2013 9:25pm
Today was Kampiringisa day. I didn't know what to expect. I read in my quiet time this morning Proverbs 17:15 which reminded me that the Lord detests this placement of these children in a prison-like environment for no actual crime. I also read in Philippians, which I remembered Paul wrote while in prison, and it's largely about joy! Philippians 2 also told me to value others above myself. I prayed that God would help me to do this today and that He would love others through me.
We left the Inn at 8am and picked up Nathalie and others on the way there. Nathalie told us a bit about Kamp and surprised me with the numbers. Out of the over 400 children there now, only 7 of them have been convicted of any crime. I knew that many/most were not convicted, but I didn't realize the numbers were THAT bad. We eventually arrived at Kamp around 11 or 11:30.
EH's smile was one of the first things I noticed as I got off the bus -- so bright and beautiful. A beautiful young lady named LY grabbed my left hand quickly, and EH found my right hand a short while later. As we walked over and listened to the Director, LY investigated my hand, my watch, and my necklace. Besides her own purple jacket (an Old Navy one she hung from her head), a yellow shirt, and a deep purple skirt, she wore a sea foam green rosary which she fiddled with much of the time. She made a striking figure, and I couldn't help but think she styled herself as many a teenager would with what she had available.
When the director was done speaking, we all walked to the dining hall to worship together. This had been the one thing I was looking forward to ahead of time. I even wrote about it at home in the note my girls would open for this day. I sat at a dirty picnic table between LY and EH and waited to begin. The praise did not disappoint. I clapped, motioned, and danced with them as best I could while standing between the seat and the table. I sang when I could understand the words and was delighted when they sang "If You're Happy & You Know It."
During worship, RT came in and clearly wanted a space, so I scooched over, and she sat between me and EH. With RT also came a baby, maybe 8-12 months old. Her shorts reeked of urine as she had no diapers, but I got several turns holding her as the girls passed her back and forth amongst themselves.
When worship was over, I left the dining hall following behind RT. RT wanted Mariska to take a picture of us, and then she showed me to the girl's dorm -- a large gym-like building with half a dozen mattresses on a stage to the side of the room.
As we were leaving, a little 2-4 year old child was in the doorway. He? She? I think a she as only girls interacted with her, and she was entering the girl's dorm. I started to walk away from her to go with RT, but I was compelled to go back. I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to go back for her. I offered her my hand and despite RT's seeming objections, I kept her with me as I allowed RT to show me another building.
When RT left to put the infant down for a nap, I decided to try to quickly take the little one to the nurse before RT got back. Unfortunately, that took much longer than expected, and I never saw RT again. I hope she didn't feel hurt or abandoned by me because of this.
As I looked for the nurse for this little one whose chest congestion in her cough I could hear where I stood, Cindy handed me another child to take to the nurse. SR was the new girl, and Cindy had indicated that she seemed dazed as she stood in the field where others were playing soccer.
The little one with the chest congestion, it turns out, was coming down with pneumonia, and I'm very glad God prompted me to go back for her and get her to the nurse as no one would have taken her themselves. In fact, I had to physically block a group of children from taking her away as we waited for the nurse!
SR had the flu along with a disability. I think the combination most likely contributed to her appearing dazed. I was told that most of the children at Kamp had the flu and there was nothing that could be done for her, so I led her back to the field where she had been handed to me in case she wanted to be in the middle of the games again. I separated my hand from hers and motioned toward the field to let her know she was free to go. She stood still for a moment and then reached for my hand again. I desperately wanted to go sanitize my hands after hearing the pneumonia and flu diagnoses, but instead I spent most of the rest of the day with SR.
As I sang to SR, read to her, and sat with her, she didn't look at me much of the time. She clearly wasn't feeling well, what speech she did have was slow and mostly in another language, and she may not have even understood much of what I was doing, but I was grateful to be with her. Before I went to Kamp, I wondered if I would know what to do. While on the bus, Nathalie had said to work from our areas of giftedness, but what would that mean in a place like Kamp?
I knew as I sat with SR while many others played sports with the kids that God had literally handed me my answer -- SR. Who else would have read to her, sang to her that "God loves SR" and is always with her, and given her the chance to participate as much as she was able if I hadn't? In a few moments of quiet as I just sat with her, she said "book" and later in another time of quiet companionship, she said "singing." I was surprised that she knew these 2 English words as they were the only English words I ever heard from her, and I happily complied with her requests to read again and to sing more songs. Nathalie and Mariska walked by in a bit of a surprise saying "This is what you do. Our P. yesterday and SR today." I commented that I used to work with kids like these, yes, but I realized later that yes, this is what I do. I will always love the children without a clear voice. I will be a voice of love to them and for them whenever God allows me the opportunity.
Later, on the ride home, I started to wonder why. Other team members had played with kids who would likely remember them and who could demonstrate more clearly their enjoyment and understanding of the interaction. Threads of doubt started to creep in despite my certainties. What real significance was there in me loving on SR in such a place? Could there be a lasting impact? If not, then why did God place me there for that purpose? She may not ever remember me or fully fathom the time I spent with her. I quickly knew the answer to my own doubts -- because God has and does love me in ways that I am incapable of fully fathoming, and I don't always remember what He has done for me either. I was teary-eyed once again at the depth of God's love. I'd wanted to be a reflection of God's love to others. This was the reflection He'd chosen.
I was't perfect at this, I know. I don't know what happened to RT, and I hesitated at first to step in and help SR at the end when others found that she had vomited on herself in the dining hall. His grace will have to be sufficient. I was certainly weak, but I'm grateful for His working through me and in me anyways.
June 20, 2013 5:55am Proverbs 17 [the passage of Scripture I read that morning]
Lord, I know that you detest much of the nature of Kamp -- The condemning of innocent children to life in prison is detestable. Please help me to foster love in there today and with my teammates and new Ugandan friends. Give me a cheerful heart that cheers others appropriately. Deliver good medicine through me today. Thank you for teaching me how evil and wrong it is to mock the poor. Help me to never forget that You made and love us all. Please use me in Kamp today to minister Your love to the children, the guards, the regular adults there, and with Foodstep. Move my heart as You want to today. Please give me rejoicing somehow even today. Be gentle through me to others today. Give me prayers with thanksgiving. Cover me completely today with Your grace, love, and power. Work in and through me with love abounding in knowledge and depth of insight that I may discern what is best, be full of the fruits of righteousness, and be pure and blameless today. ALL for Your glory!
June 20, 2013 9:25pm
Today was Kampiringisa day. I didn't know what to expect. I read in my quiet time this morning Proverbs 17:15 which reminded me that the Lord detests this placement of these children in a prison-like environment for no actual crime. I also read in Philippians, which I remembered Paul wrote while in prison, and it's largely about joy! Philippians 2 also told me to value others above myself. I prayed that God would help me to do this today and that He would love others through me.
We left the Inn at 8am and picked up Nathalie and others on the way there. Nathalie told us a bit about Kamp and surprised me with the numbers. Out of the over 400 children there now, only 7 of them have been convicted of any crime. I knew that many/most were not convicted, but I didn't realize the numbers were THAT bad. We eventually arrived at Kamp around 11 or 11:30.
EH's smile was one of the first things I noticed as I got off the bus -- so bright and beautiful. A beautiful young lady named LY grabbed my left hand quickly, and EH found my right hand a short while later. As we walked over and listened to the Director, LY investigated my hand, my watch, and my necklace. Besides her own purple jacket (an Old Navy one she hung from her head), a yellow shirt, and a deep purple skirt, she wore a sea foam green rosary which she fiddled with much of the time. She made a striking figure, and I couldn't help but think she styled herself as many a teenager would with what she had available.
When the director was done speaking, we all walked to the dining hall to worship together. This had been the one thing I was looking forward to ahead of time. I even wrote about it at home in the note my girls would open for this day. I sat at a dirty picnic table between LY and EH and waited to begin. The praise did not disappoint. I clapped, motioned, and danced with them as best I could while standing between the seat and the table. I sang when I could understand the words and was delighted when they sang "If You're Happy & You Know It."
During worship, RT came in and clearly wanted a space, so I scooched over, and she sat between me and EH. With RT also came a baby, maybe 8-12 months old. Her shorts reeked of urine as she had no diapers, but I got several turns holding her as the girls passed her back and forth amongst themselves.
When worship was over, I left the dining hall following behind RT. RT wanted Mariska to take a picture of us, and then she showed me to the girl's dorm -- a large gym-like building with half a dozen mattresses on a stage to the side of the room.
As we were leaving, a little 2-4 year old child was in the doorway. He? She? I think a she as only girls interacted with her, and she was entering the girl's dorm. I started to walk away from her to go with RT, but I was compelled to go back. I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to go back for her. I offered her my hand and despite RT's seeming objections, I kept her with me as I allowed RT to show me another building.
When RT left to put the infant down for a nap, I decided to try to quickly take the little one to the nurse before RT got back. Unfortunately, that took much longer than expected, and I never saw RT again. I hope she didn't feel hurt or abandoned by me because of this.
As I looked for the nurse for this little one whose chest congestion in her cough I could hear where I stood, Cindy handed me another child to take to the nurse. SR was the new girl, and Cindy had indicated that she seemed dazed as she stood in the field where others were playing soccer.
The little one with the chest congestion, it turns out, was coming down with pneumonia, and I'm very glad God prompted me to go back for her and get her to the nurse as no one would have taken her themselves. In fact, I had to physically block a group of children from taking her away as we waited for the nurse!
SR had the flu along with a disability. I think the combination most likely contributed to her appearing dazed. I was told that most of the children at Kamp had the flu and there was nothing that could be done for her, so I led her back to the field where she had been handed to me in case she wanted to be in the middle of the games again. I separated my hand from hers and motioned toward the field to let her know she was free to go. She stood still for a moment and then reached for my hand again. I desperately wanted to go sanitize my hands after hearing the pneumonia and flu diagnoses, but instead I spent most of the rest of the day with SR.
As I sang to SR, read to her, and sat with her, she didn't look at me much of the time. She clearly wasn't feeling well, what speech she did have was slow and mostly in another language, and she may not have even understood much of what I was doing, but I was grateful to be with her. Before I went to Kamp, I wondered if I would know what to do. While on the bus, Nathalie had said to work from our areas of giftedness, but what would that mean in a place like Kamp?
I knew as I sat with SR while many others played sports with the kids that God had literally handed me my answer -- SR. Who else would have read to her, sang to her that "God loves SR" and is always with her, and given her the chance to participate as much as she was able if I hadn't? In a few moments of quiet as I just sat with her, she said "book" and later in another time of quiet companionship, she said "singing." I was surprised that she knew these 2 English words as they were the only English words I ever heard from her, and I happily complied with her requests to read again and to sing more songs. Nathalie and Mariska walked by in a bit of a surprise saying "This is what you do. Our P. yesterday and SR today." I commented that I used to work with kids like these, yes, but I realized later that yes, this is what I do. I will always love the children without a clear voice. I will be a voice of love to them and for them whenever God allows me the opportunity.
Later, on the ride home, I started to wonder why. Other team members had played with kids who would likely remember them and who could demonstrate more clearly their enjoyment and understanding of the interaction. Threads of doubt started to creep in despite my certainties. What real significance was there in me loving on SR in such a place? Could there be a lasting impact? If not, then why did God place me there for that purpose? She may not ever remember me or fully fathom the time I spent with her. I quickly knew the answer to my own doubts -- because God has and does love me in ways that I am incapable of fully fathoming, and I don't always remember what He has done for me either. I was teary-eyed once again at the depth of God's love. I'd wanted to be a reflection of God's love to others. This was the reflection He'd chosen.
I was't perfect at this, I know. I don't know what happened to RT, and I hesitated at first to step in and help SR at the end when others found that she had vomited on herself in the dining hall. His grace will have to be sufficient. I was certainly weak, but I'm grateful for His working through me and in me anyways.
June 20, 2013 5:55am Proverbs 17 [the passage of Scripture I read that morning]
Lord, I know that you detest much of the nature of Kamp -- The condemning of innocent children to life in prison is detestable. Please help me to foster love in there today and with my teammates and new Ugandan friends. Give me a cheerful heart that cheers others appropriately. Deliver good medicine through me today. Thank you for teaching me how evil and wrong it is to mock the poor. Help me to never forget that You made and love us all. Please use me in Kamp today to minister Your love to the children, the guards, the regular adults there, and with Foodstep. Move my heart as You want to today. Please give me rejoicing somehow even today. Be gentle through me to others today. Give me prayers with thanksgiving. Cover me completely today with Your grace, love, and power. Work in and through me with love abounding in knowledge and depth of insight that I may discern what is best, be full of the fruits of righteousness, and be pure and blameless today. ALL for Your glory!
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